Okay, so credit where credit is due, I’ve been inspired to write this piece by Earthling Ed, aka Ed Winters. He’s always been a huge inspiration for me and even more so lately. Last Christmas, I received his book ‘How to Argue with a Meat-Eater (and Win Every Time)’, which I read cover to cover in a little under 3 days. Then the following January, I went to one of his talks in Southwark, and the inspiration came over me again. To meet someone who has been such an inspiration to you for so long is a really special moment. A moment that apparently sends you back into 15-year-old-fangirl territory. Yeah… don’t ask!
Anyway, one of the things I really appreciate the most about Ed is his ability to stay cool, calm and collected even when being goaded and debated by what I can only describe as Neanderthals. I’ve always been someone who struggled with my emotions. I have big, overwhelming emotions, and have put a lot of work into my own emotional regulation. It can be hard sometimes, when I feel hurt and pain and anger so deeply. But the flip side is that I feel joy, excitement and elation just as big.
It was when I was at Vegan Campout last year that I started thinking that perhaps just being vegan wasn’t enough. That I had a duty to do more for those who don’t have a voice, or at least not one we can understand. Campaigning and activism always seemed scary to me because I worried about how it would make me feel. I know that at the end of the day, I would be the one who would get upset, not the meat-eater I debate, who has a no-nonsense view on the meat and dairy industry. But then I realised that was a selfish take. To feel some deep emotions that I didn’t want to deal with was really the least I could do for the 251 pigs killed per second in the UK alone. Not to mention the 10,572 chickens killed per second. Those are some scary numbers.
That’s why I developed these 4 steps to help me channel my inner Earthling Ed and really get the most out of these situations. And I don’t mean just getting the upper hand in the debate (although that’s a little important too), but really getting through to them. Getting them to see things a little differently, and perhaps plant the seed of doubt. That’s really all you have to do. Then simply stand back and let that seedling grow.
Time and Place
Think about where you are and who you’re with before engaging in a debate. It’s difficult, I get it. I too want to scream about veganism from the rooftops every second of every day. I feel that same burning injustice when I see people in the supermarket who so casually browse and purchase the body parts of all those innocent animals. I want to disrupt every meal time I have with those around me who nonchalantly select ‘pan-seared duck’ or ‘ribeye steak’ without even a nod to the soul who had to die screaming for that 5-minute meal.
But you can’t win every battle. To win the war, we have to be careful and considerate of how and when to approach the subject. Most people’s immediate reaction is to get their defences up, which leads to nonsensical rubbish about lions eating meat and plants having feelings. Let’s not escalate to this, if we can help it. The thing is, bringing up the subject of veganism to a meat-eater, especially from the viewpoint of ethical choices and doing the right thing, you’re essentially telling that person they don’t have good morals, that they’re a bad person. A sentiment that most people don’t take well. To an extent, it’s not their fault. We’ve had meat and dairy propaganda pushed down our throats from birth. It’s social conditioning, and most people have not yet realised that they are brainwashed into this way of life by big corporations who have a hell of a lot to gain from these awful industries.
So when approaching the subject, make sure you’re not in a place where making a scene could cause great upset, like a wedding, or worse – a funeral! Perhaps the family dinner table on Christmas day isn’t the place either, no matter how upsetting it is seeing family members stuff a turkey. Perhaps try to find a calm moment when you are with someone one-on-one. Going into a debate with 5 meat-eaters on your own, you’re kind of setting yourself up for failure. You’re already outnumbered. I think it’s far more meaningful to try to get through, really get through to one person. Or at least, one person at a time.
Take a Moment
When someone says something triggering to me, I like to count to 5 in my head. If you’re anything like me, your first instinct is to retaliate and fight fire with fire. But famously, that doesn’t work. So what can we do to keep control in this situation?
Take deep breaths. This one kind of goes hand in hand with counting to five. Take a moment to count to five, and take a deep breath. Having a pause mid-debate doesn’t make you seem unsure or unintelligent; if anything, it makes you look more astute. You are not being driven by emotion or falling for the trap of getting into a quick-fire argument that escalates. You’re methodical, you’re analytical. Other great ways of fast regulation are to focus on your senses. What can you see, smell, feel, taste and touch? Use mindfulness to ground yourself in these situations so that you can get out of your head and into the present moment.
Sometimes you need to be the one to lower the heat in this space, because if they say something triggering to you, and you retaliate with an insult or an accusation, they will do the same and on and on until you’ve snowballed into a very heated debate that will leave both of you reeling. This isn’t beneficial for anyone, especially not the animals. Sadly, when this happens, what you’re usually doing is pushing the other person further away from veganism. They feel attacked, and so they retreat further into archaic beliefs about ‘tradition’ or ‘nutrition’.
Know Your Facts
Staying up to date in the vegan world of news, research and statistics is a great way to have a catalogue of data to pull from in order to make yourself more credible. People may be able to disagree or fight opinions, but stone-hard facts are a little more difficult to dismiss. Some great places for this are – Plant based News, VegNews & Viva!
Going hand-in-hand with this, make sure your sources are refutable. That TikTok video you saw might have been really compelling, but sourcing that is not going to give your points the credit they deserve. And listen, I’m not saying you can’t learn some really great things from TikTok, but perhaps do some of your own research and digging, external of TikTok, to make sure what you’re hearing is fact, and you can back this up with evidence.
The thing is, a lot of the actual facts are not known by the general public. They’re readily available to anyone who wants to do a quick Google search, sure. But these industries bank on people not wanting to know what goes on behind closed factory doors. The general public lives in blissful ignorance because it’s easier and more palatable than facing the truth. I’ve met people who genuinely think cows just produce milk. Not mothers feeding their babies, but just cows as a species are magical milk-producing animals. I’ve regularly heard ‘I get being vegetarian, but why vegan? They don’t kill chickens to get eggs, or kill cows to get milk’. Wrong and wrong. But see, people don’t know these things because the meat and dairy industry are all too happy slapping a ‘laughing cow’ or ‘happy egg’ label on packaging and calling it a day.
You can be the one to educate people. To start shining the light on all the things these corporations work so hard to keep covered up. And the absolute best way to do that is to get educated. Read research journals, sign up to plant-based news outlets, attend rallies and talks about veganism. Read books, magazines and online articles. Consume all the content readily available to you, so that you’re armed for your next debate or conversation about veganism. You never know who you might get through to with this method. I like to think that most people are, at their core, logical and empathetic. Use those statistics and facts to make them question everything they’ve believed (or not believed) about the meat and dairy industries until now.
Turn the Attention Back on Them
My biggest takeaway from Ed’s talk was the art of turning the question back on the asker. When someone asks you why you’re vegan, instead of going on a long rant about injustices, moral crusades and compassion, try simply asking them why they’re not vegan. Not only does this get them thinking about their own choices and actions, but it also allows you to hone in on the things that actually matter to them. It’s all well and good talking about animal welfare, but if their interest is more focused on environmental impacts, and they demonstrate this in their answer, then giving them facts about percentages of animals killed annually won’t get through to them at all. But see, now that you know they care about environmental issues, you have the perfect opportunity to shine a light on how adopting a vegan lifestyle can have such a huge impact in this area. Your chances of getting through to them have increased, and you have the opportunity to engage in a meaningful debate in which you both feel you can add valuable input.
You can use this technique in many ways, not just for asking why someone’s not vegan. One of my favourites is when people ask me where I get my protein from, I cooly tell them I meet my protein goals daily through legumes, tofu, nuts & seeds, but what I’d love to know is where they get their fibre from? It’s a bit tongue-in-cheek, but you’ll see how quickly people realise that questioning someone’s personal nutrition is intrusive and in bad taste. It might just get them thinking about asking other vegans about their protein intake, or at least get them thinking about their own fibre intake – that can’t be a bad thing!
Think of turning the question back on them as gently guiding them to use a little more critical thinking. Perhaps you’re discussing the idea that if animals are killed ‘humanely’, then it’s defensible. You could ask them what their definition of humane is, if they would be okay with these methods being used on their pets, or even on themselves, and if so, at what age constitutes ‘a good life’ that the killing is just. The key is to keep your tone calm and non-accusatory. You’re not trying to debase, criticise or shame them; you’re just trying to get them to look at the scenario through a slightly different lens. Keep the conversation light in tone, even if it’s not light in context. Tone really does make a difference here.
I hope something here helps you in your next vegan vs meat-eater discussion. Remember that sometimes it may feel like a loss, like you haven’t got through at all, but all you need to do is sew that seed of doubt. Once that’s there, you’ve already achieved something great. People take time to come to terms with such a huge lifestyle change, and sometimes that change will come in its own time. I certainly remember being extremely discrediting of vegan arguments when I was a meat-eater. And look at me now! I’m one of those preachy vegans they tell you to hate, and I will NEVER be ashamed of that. And neither should you.
So there you go, my best tips. I’d love to know if you found something useful, and please feel free to share your own tips and tricks for debating veganism in the comments below.
